Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Dr. Greenthumbs

Caution: as with any of the poorly crafted structures that you will find posing as blogs here.This is another example of time travel, mish mashing verb tenses and me hopping from state to state apparently by the use of Tardis. So if you're wondering, is it me that is not able to follow ol' Groovy? chances are it’s not you, it's my stinky writing.

DR. GREENTHUMBS … So we started this grow box in the new apartment. Started with some seeds and some soil. Though, I guess we can leave to the experts to decide as to whether or not the stuff is good or a big over priced bag of shit [not literally, otherwise they'd say that stuff was swell]. We also bought a $13 grow lamp. Slowly we started to turn our dungeon into a rather nice place for things other than chia crafts to grow.

Now we have to backpedal, almost a whole year to be exact. Melissa and I are at some community college vegan awareness convention in Boston. Neither she nor I are vegan but being made aware of how to incorporate more vegan food and veggies into our lives sounded nice, so we attended.

The place is packed, which you would have to expect since it is a city and the convention (if that's what you want to call it) was free. There were also a whole shit load of free samples. In fact there was more product for you to get for free than there was information. Not much talk of community supported agriculture or booths with info on how to turn your 700 sq foot apt. into a sweet urban garden. Nope, nada, nut tin, not a ting man. Which I guess is more of a sad reflection on the state of affairs these days. People want to bitch about Whole Foods buying up Wild Oats and then continue to shop at the over priced entity that they demonize, and do nothing else.

You don't have to sell your soul to the armys of the living dead man. No, you can ralign your self with the diy underground, and do it quite literally. You can make yerself a 100% bonified do it yourselfer grow box and sow your hipster 100% organic roots in no time at all. Grow your own veggies.

Let’s stop this bullshit replace one consuming passion with another. This was ultimately the formula that I'd say snuffed out so many of my "gen-x" contemporaries in the 90s. So if you really want to rage against the machine this time man, then there's a way to do it. Take some of that rebellion and turn it into plowshares. (OR… PLEASE INSERT YOUR OWN PRO HOME GROWN PINKO COMMIE INSPIRATIONAL PHRASE HERE)

After metamorphosing into a cattle and being herded through the vendor room, I'm left feeling a bit down that I didn't get the phone numbers from some ol' HGP taggin' friends of mine and that well… I hadn't received any suggestions as to how to become the urban green acres mofo that I would like to be. (thank you Eddie Arnold).

So fast forward through the rest of our Providence habitation and all of my Patchogue reoccupation to now. Melissa and I start the aforementioned grow box. In fact here's a picture of the thing:

Since we use sitemeter for our online postings we realize that we've become popular. Not because anyone gave a shit about my column in Under The Volcano or miss the Model Citizen in any shape or form. Most people are hiting this site because they think I have some hydroponics hints, or other useful information on homegrowing their chronic, and other suggestions on how to spend their next 4-20 in the high life. Which was funny since our intentions were to get our salad and salsa ingredients from fresh and sound sources.

We were looking to save some dough, get some nice produce and welp.. throw a monkey wrench into the gears of the agri-terrorists inc. who are orchestrating this global food crisis.

Since there is an interest in our grow box, we're going to pen some useful how to-s. including how to repurpose some of those junk racks that you buy from target and S-Mart into something f'n sweet. The result is nice especially when you compare them to what the catalog growers are charging for them.